Part 1

Infants to 7 years

The spiritual development of a child is a very complicated process but if one follows this path, their Atman will reward them for a job well done. 

The teaching I bring is what I would have brought to my own children if it had been taught to me.  This is a new teaching, and it was through many years of floundering around in the dark before I could bring it to you.

Before I begin, God or Brahman’s Love is deeper than you could possibly imagine.  He made a soul, you, and blessed you with this birth. 

It took eons and much love to bring you where you are in your sadhana.  It wasn’t just this birth, but many, and He will continue to sustain you through all your births, for He is your Heavenly Father.

Now the Mother comes to nurture and raise you to be all you were meant to be, and She will be your guide to Heaven or Brahman or Nirvana if you let Her. 

I know the destination, but I’m not worried about the particulars of your belief, because, in the end, you will find out for yourself.  My only desire is to get you there by the fastest and safest route possible.

Through all of this, you must understand that you did not create yourself, and neither did your father or mother.  Your parents, through natural processes, created the body, but the Father created the soul. 

In actuality, the Father created the natural process also, but let’s give your parents some credit here, for a child should always respect their parents for this very important role in their life.

It is through the Father and the Atman that a person’s birth circumstance is chosen for soul growth.  The Father makes the final decision, and the Atman responds with “Yes, Your will always!” 

When did this communication take place?  While you were sleeping in between births.  While the soul rests, the Atman is fully awake and always aware.

Your impersonal Atman is just a spark of Brahman and knows, yes knows, that Brahman always makes the right decision for you.  You may not like it from your current perspective but understand, you will grow from it.  Your difficulties will make you a better person in the end.

You see, the end is not this lifetime, but a significant number of births ahead, and you need the Father’s wisdom, to help guide you. 

He put you in a certain birth circumstance, to help you from where you are now and will continue to do so just as your soul continues to grow.

Please understand that the birth of a child is dependent on many factors.  If a woman or man is unable to have children, then remember, there are many more lives to have children.  You will have your heart’s desire, just not now. 

If that makes you sad, then rest assured, there were already other lives you never had children and there will be many more where you will.

I never look at my children and see them as an extension of myself.  I look at them and think, “Did I teach them rightly?  Do they understand the concept of right and wrong and did I instill that in them?” 

That is most important to me.  Not whether they are financially successful or chose the best profession, though financial security is important because I don’t want them to suffer as I did.

It hurts when a person can hardly feed themselves, let alone their children.  This will create much suffering in a person’s life if they don’t follow this instruction.  Don’t have children if you can barely afford to feed yourself, no matter how much you want children.

Children won’t make you whole and they don’t complete you.  They are totally unpredictable, and the life of a parent may be a thankless job until they reach adulthood, and it may remain so for a time after that.

If you’ve found yourself in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy and are unable to care for a child, don’t feel bad for giving the child to a family who is willing and can. 

Give the life that is God’s and not your own, to someone who is able and willing to care for them.  It is a selfless decision if you chose to do so.

Your immediate family may say all kinds of bad things to you and about you but remember this the most, in God’s eyes, you are not an outcast.  He loves you and respects your decision.  He knows your decision is wise for your situation and will honor it.

The Father trumps your parents and your immediate environment as difficult as it is for you to see. 

His way is the highest and if you know it is outside of what you’re able to do, then choose the path of letting go.  There is nothing wrong with doing what you can, and then letting God take care of the rest.

Don’t count on the promises of family members to help you if you already know they won’t.  Use rational thinking like, were my family members there for me before?  If not, what makes you think their promises will mean anything after you have a child?

Now, we come to the difficult topic of abortion.  There is much controversy over this.  The physical union of the sperm fertilizing the egg doesn’t mean there is a baby in the spiritual sense.  At this point, it is a fetus.  Ah, but it’s life, isn’t it?  Not without Brahman.

I remember my first revelation to my parents at nine years of age.  I told them that I remembered the powerful force of being pushed into my mother’s womb.  My earthly father nearly laughed to tears at this proclamation that left a sting in my spirit. 

When I spoke those words, I wasn’t aware they had no personal recollection of such an important event, for it was exhilarating and purposeful.

When does God place life within the womb?  That is a very valid concern for what if my mother chose not to have me after the Father initiated life?  It would have been a travesty for my earthly mother with certain consequences from her Atman.  My mother was well into her second trimester so before that time, there was no life.

Is it always the second trimester when the Father initiates life?  No, it may be sooner but ending a pregnancy within six weeks is safe, though longer than that, the issue becomes more complicated.

Another difficult subject is that of stillbirth.  As difficult as it is to rationalize in one’s mind, sometimes God denies offspring.  Why?  From my current perspective, the world is overpopulated.  It may not be God’s will to put a soul into that body.

Don’t assume that a woman grows a body within her womb to full term that a soul is present.  Her body may go through the natural process of pregnancy but unless Brahman puts a soul into the body, there is only a body.

This is a new concept in the world but Brahman is the One who pushes the soul into the body, and He is also able to pull the soul from the material body. 

He is the God of Life and the God of Destruction, just as the solar system is created and destroyed.  In the physical world, He controls all these situations and yet, in His gentleness, mercy, and love, holds each soul in the palm of His hand.

You are not a bundle of nerve endings and there is a very complicated process going on when you think and will and act upon the material world around you.  All your actions are spiritual, in nature, because you are not your body, but a spiritual being.

So, let’s move on to the birth of a child.  A child is born in a situation that is meant to benefit him or her for spiritual growth in that lifetime. 

It may not be an optimal birth for future lives or a past life.  It’s what the spiritual being needs now and God is always aware of what each soul needs.

How is this possible?  There are billions on the earth.  How does God know?  He does and sees all your thoughts and actions.  You are an open book through your Atman who is in constant communication with Brahman.

Your relationship with the Atman is impersonal so the plan between your Atman and Brahman is unknown to your soul and the Atman will hide its intentions from you. 

Why would the Atman do this?  Just like the Garden of Eden, how can you appreciate what you have unless you lose it?

You were given a spark of the divine and then cast out of the garden, just to look for your way back again.  The Garden of Eden represents bliss, and you are the one who must find this place within yourself.

When a child is born, he or she is in tamas.  None of the chakras are opened.  Why?  You were born into a new body, and it takes time to acclimate the soul with the body.  You may have spent forty or fifty years asleep and need time to awaken.

What happens in tamas?  Intellectually, not much.  Can you reason with a baby, much less a newborn?  No, you can draw their attention away from what they cry for, but you can’t reason with them.  They may be hungry or wet and will let you know but you can’t expect them to appeal to logic.

So, imagine you are a new mother or father, and with a baby in tow, make a trip to the grocery store.  You’re in the store and the baby starts to fuss a little.  You might check to make sure he or she is dry, and the diaper is good. 

After finding no issue there, the baby continues to fuss, but this time, a little louder.  At this point, the logical conclusion is the baby is hungry, so you reach for a pacifier.

How long a pacifier will work depends on the baby, but you can be sure, you don’t have much time before the baby spits out the pacifier and screams for milk. 

Have you ever heard a conversation where a mother is talking to her baby and says, “Little Henry, mommy will be done very soon and you shall have your milk, here in about fifteen minutes?”  Neither have I because it’s pointless.

Currently, I work with a sixty-year-old man in tamas.  I can’t reason with him, and as a lead, I can’t change his current job duties, except very slowly.  He is easily confused and has difficulty adapting to changes or new situations.  It’s not because he’s sixty but because he’s in tamas.

For the last twenty years since his forties, he’s carried a piece of paper in his pocket to help him remember certain steps in his job duties. 

He is not mentally handicapped but spiritually disabled working among the higher echelons.  With so many moments of frustration, this piece of paper pacifies and keeps him grounded.

So, a child is born in tamas.  None of the chakras are opened and what do you do with a child that can’t be reasoned with? 

You can’t appeal to an undeveloped mind except through love and meeting their physical needs.  This is what every baby needs and if it takes a lot of sleepless nights, then so be it.

My youngest son was colic the first year.  Want to talk about blowing the roof off a house!  It was the most confounding experience I had ever been through.  He screamed from the time he woke up until the time he went to sleep. 

My oldest son who was sixteen said, “I don’t ever want to have kids.”  To this day, he meant what he said and hasn’t.  He may not and I don’t mind because his children are not an extension of himself or me.  He is his own complete individual with or without children.

My sons are their own persons and having them doesn’t change the fact that they are God’s eternal children.  He sees the end result, past one life which is all that has been given to me. 

I am aware of this truth and hope these three souls, of all God has chosen, will reap some spiritual benefit for having me as their mother.  Most don’t understand me so for these three souls to adapt to me must be quite a feat for a soul in sadhana!

So, the next stage is the terrible twos or rajas.  Rajas is me, me, me!  It is a fun but difficult stage because this is where a child learns boundaries. 

Of course, their physical needs must be met, and it doesn’t take much for a child this age.  They don’t understand the price of anything, just that they have clothing to wear and shoes on their feet.  Other than that, it’s attention and lots of it!

They may act out quite a bit, looking for approval and reproval.  They want to know where their boundaries are in the world and what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. 

If a parent lets them run rampant, it will cause spiritual issues for the child.  How?  It will delay further chakra openings until the child learns boundaries.  Why?  Because it is necessary for the growth of the soul.

So, when a parent gives Tommy everything his little heart desires or ignores his negative behavior which is really cries for help, Tommy will get worse in his quest for domination. 

Spiritually, he is in rajas, and rajas loves power so little Tommy will continue his destructive behavior until a loving but firm hand sets him straight.

A child will start out in life with very low self-worth without this correction.  To give you an example, one time, at the age of three, I bit my brother on the arm.  Why would I do such a thing?  

I wanted to know that my earthly mother loved me by showing me my boundaries.  She did, for she bit me back.  I never bit my brother nearly as hard as my mother bit me, but it taught me a very valuable lesson about love, as well as karma, and I never forgot it.

Also, at the age of three, a child should be taught to honor God.  They should be raised in a spiritual atmosphere that follows a teaching and respect for the Lord. 

It will help them so much to do this and center their being because everything in the physical world is meant to bring comfort to the spiritual.

A child should be brought up in some type of spiritual discipline to prepare them for the world.  As two- or three-year-olds, they can pray before they go to sleep, which is very beneficial for their sadhana later. 

It helps them to look upward, think of others, and stretch their minds.  They might pray for mom or dad or someone close and the Father sees this devotion and His blessings will flow to the parents, as well as the child.

From the ages of two through seven, which is the years of rajas, a child can be spanked, if need be, to put them in line. 

I’m not talking about beating a child but a sharp sting to the bottom is effective for making your intentions known and any child will respect and love you for it.  It is not harmful at this age because they need it and know they do.  Why else would they challenge you?

I always followed a path that required the least amount of spanking.  When my oldest son was two, he would reach for things that might harm him or that he might break. 

I couldn’t foresee all possible scenarios so if he reached for something, I removed the object of his attention or picked him up and took his attention away from the object.

Once, we went to my in-laws, and my son reached for something, whereas my father-in-law smacked him so hard on the forearm, it immediately turned red, and he screamed. 

I was infuriated by this behavior and had a few words to say and left.  Why inflict pain when you can remove the object or the child?

It may not work as well for a child four or five, depending on the child and the parent. 

If it is impossible to physically remove or restrain the child from their object of affection, then, by all means, light a small fire to their bottom.  They need to know their boundaries in the world and they need your protection.

One summer when my oldest was four, he liked to do a lot of climbing and kept getting on the woodpile at the back of the property. 

I told him not to do it because there were nails in the wood and it was dangerous.  After the second time, I said, “If I have to tell you again, you’re getting a spanking.”

Sometime later, I looked out and he wasn’t on the woodpile, and I thought, “Good boy.  I’m glad he listened to me.”  I returned to my chores and had a bad feeling inside.

At that point, I made an exit for the yard, which is more than an acre, and began looking for him. 

There was a pole barn and a little shed, and after fifteen minutes, I realized he wasn’t in the yard.  We had a fence all the way around the property except for the driveway, which had a long gate.

He had climbed through the gate and walked to Grandma’s house to show her his new kitten.  Grandma’s house was the equivalent of five blocks away had we lived in town. 

At this point, I was in a panic and there’s no worse feeling in the world than this.  Five blocks is a pretty good stretch of country road and I had no idea where he was.

I was sobbing and ready to call the police when my brother-in-law pulled up, opened the car door, and let my son out.  He didn’t say a word but gave me the “you’re a bad parent,” glare and drove away.  I didn’t care at that point because my son was safe.

I snatched him up with tears falling hard and fast and hugged him first.  I let him explain why he went to grandma’s house and then grabbed his face and pulled it close to mine and said, “Don’t you EVER do that again!”

My nerves were frazzled for the next two hours as I replayed the incident in my mind. 

I realized he really walked to Grandma’s house because he was angry at me for not letting him climb the woodpile.  It was not a conscious decision to hurt me, but he did it in the worst way possible.

The unconscious mind of a child directs his behavior, and the role of the parent is to steer their conscious mind in the right direction that will help them grow into healthy adults. 

It is a very profound role for a parent.  He or she is yours for the rest of your life, for better or worse.

It is also true that your child had many lifetimes before this one.  They’ve had many parents and many children.  Brahman put this soul next to yours to teach and love and show this child his or her way in the world.  Your role is the most important one of all.

Raising a bodhisattva who is spiritually advanced may be the exception.  With love and a little bit of direction, their chakras will open much faster. 

They might still challenge you like I did to keep you aware of their presence.  They might be wondering inside, “Do Mommy and Daddy still love me?  Let’s see.”

Sometimes, an obedient child feels lost among the disruptive ones, who need more assistance.

If they are an exceptionally good child, then praise God because you might have a bodhisattva and won’t have to correct them too much.  You are most blessed! 

Better yet, if you find your little girl hiding behind the furniture when company knocks, she might be the Mother!

Part 2

 8 – 15 years

There is more complexity in raising a child as they age.  It may have been physically demanding earlier but wasn’t it easier?  Ages eight through fifteen is the stage of pratyahara.  If the child learns love and boundaries, they will move into this stage quite naturally.

There is no set age per se, for some children may stay in rajas until they are ten or eleven.  Learning boundaries is still important for these little guys and girls, but this is not the time to spank them.  They are too old by the age of eight and they need love and direction through different avenues.

Love and guidance change forms as they grow.  When they are an infant, it’s love and meeting their physical needs. 

When they are a toddler, it’s love, meeting their physical needs, having playtime, and teaching them boundaries.  It’s also the best time to start their sadhana with bedtime prayers and whatever devotion you follow.

As their minds continue developing and they move into the next stage, their needs change.  Of course, their physical needs remain, but love and direction should change form to adapt to their development.

At this stage, it is good to keep expectations at bay as to what you want them to think and be. 

They will learn from your attitude about different aspects of life, and it will impact them.  As a child, my earthly father was a quiet man and said little, but when he spoke, his attitude said much.

It seems strange to me now, when I look out into the world and see parents putting their children on a pedestal.  I remember a day when it was the other way around. 

It gives them an unrealistic view of the world and a sense of entitlement that’s not earned.  Guiding them to pratyahara is helping them to learn “the world doesn’t revolve around me.”

I was raised in an era where a child was to be seen and not heard.  I don’t mind the idea of it now when I’m trying to have an adult conversation, and nine-year-old “Erica” walks in and takes over. 

That’s not to say she doesn’t have anything meaningful to add, but her intellect and current life perspective are not that of an adult and a child should not be encouraged to dominate adult conversations.

There are times when combining children and adult conversations becomes valuable like at the dinner table or some group interactive activity like working on a project. 

Children take a lot of their parent’s attention and it’s okay to have “adult time,” and sometimes it’s needed for the parent of young ones to feel grounded again.

A woman may go through a stage of postpartum depression after having a little one and even a little later when a child is two or three. 

Interacting with other adults will help alleviate this so it would be good to have a “Mother or Father’s Day,” when needed.  Reconnect with friends, have conversations, and rest for a day to recuperate, if possible.

In pratyahara, the soul begins to see the spiritual nature of the world, or cause and effect.  If I do this, then this will happen.  For an undeveloped mind, this is the stage of “How can I manipulate the world to revolve around me?”

When my oldest was in this stage and I corrected his behavior, he would say, “Oh, I didn’t know.”  It was a very confusing time for me. 

How could he not know something I scolded him about last week or was it last month?  He stood there, looking at me so innocently, and my confusion deepened.

Does he have memory issues?  I knew he had a short attention span, but how was I going to teach this hyperactive child acceptable behavior when he couldn’t remember anything? 

I would never say, “I didn’t know,” if I did.  It took months of going around in circles with him before I figured out, he did know and was playing on my “heartstrings.”

During these beginning stages of development, a child should be encouraged to run, jump, and play. 

They are in a new body and there is a lot of excitement that comes with it.  Their energy may overwhelm you at times, but as long as their behavior isn’t destructive, let them play.

This is also the time when they may begin to show a certain interest.  They might find they enjoy sports or music or art.  If they show an interest in science, take them to events that might increase their interest or help them with a science project.

This is a time when learning social skills is important and they won’t find it in video games and social media. 

There is too much of a physical and spiritual disconnection and should be discouraged at this age.  Social media is like a child with an imaginary friend and they need real interactions with others.

When I was young, we played football, baseball, dodgeball, or basketball during the day.  In the evenings, we caught lightning bugs or played hide-and-seek.  There were six of us but many times, it included other children who lived near us. 

My older brother was the leader and usually made the rules.  I was happy to follow and enjoyed the activities when they weren’t too rough.

At this age, a child can be given chores to do around the house to help them learn responsibility.  When they were smaller, it was “put your toys away.” 

Now, it’s time to take out the trash, mow the yard, or do the dishes.  It will help them to learn the value of their contribution to the home and teach them the necessary skills that carry forward into adulthood.

Time-outs and grounding can be very effective means of discipline.  When my oldest was twelve, he told his stepbrother one day, “I’m grounded.” 

He and his stepbrother were very close in age.  His brother asked, “Who grounded you, your mom or my dad?”  My son’s reply was, “Mom.”  He said, “Oh no, we’re in trouble now!”

If my ex-husband yelled, “You’re grounded for a week!”, it usually meant a day.  If I said, “You’re grounded for two weeks,” it was two weeks.  There is a degree of self-discipline that must take place to mean what you say and say what you mean. 

I also never made promises and then not kept them or made promises that I couldn’t keep.  My mother’s favorite motto was, “We’ll see.”  It meant, “I’m not against the idea, I just don’t know if I can make it happen.”

This is a time when peer pressure, the latest fad, or popular opinion, can have a negative influence on your child.  It is good to encourage them to always think independently of the pratyaharic crowd for most will be in this stage by thirteen.

Bullying and making fun of other children is a terrible travesty that should be discouraged with consequences if witnessed. 

I read that a bodhisattva, Robin Williams, came home from school and locked himself in his room for months at a time, falling into a deep depression, over this issue.  He was overweight and not only that, but he also didn’t fit in with the other echelons and was ostracized for it.

Later, this same fellow decided he would make the whole world laugh and he did.  I liked his character on Mork and Mindy for it showed his love for wholesome humor as well as his innocence and kindness. 

I was deeply saddened by his death for he overcame all the rejection he suffered growing up, only to succumb to suicide later.

These scars of rejection can remain with a child through life.  Differences in physical appearance should not be accompanied by taunts of ridicule or making fun of another because they don’t fit in. 

No one is in the exact same place, spiritually, whether they are in pratyahara or not, and no one deserves to be punished for it.

Ages eight through fifteen are also a time when your child will enter the phase of sexuality or physical attraction.  I’ve heard women say, “Oh, my daughter has a boyfriend now.  How cute!” 

Let me assure you that it isn’t.  They may have a natural inclination to pair up but don’t encourage it.

The samskaras will begin naturally and they are a monster for the soul that needs to bring them under control.  When the sex samskara awakens, it is better to discourage your child from such behaviors that might lead to a negative outcome later.

Group activities that include the opposite sex are fine, but they should not be going out on dates at this age or leaving two children alone that are attracted to one another.  This encourages unhealthy behaviors that will affect them spiritually.

They will confuse love with physical intimacy such as kissing and so forth and won’t be able to understand the two are not the same.  It can cloud their judgment just as easily as the adults, if not more so.

I would not want to be the parent whose fifteen- or sixteen-year-old daughter comes home and says, “I’m in love.”  That would be a travesty for me, sending red flags flying in every direction.

A child at this age needs transparency when it comes to parental guidance.  By this age, they should know if they are loved or not, and if they don’t know, they will look for it in the world.

Once, when my sister was twelve, she asked our mother, “Why do we believe such and such?”  It was a question involving the church. 

My mother’s reaction was negative and hurtful for she slapped my sister across the face and said, “Don’t question such things!”  That was also a lesson learned for me.

Transparency does involve explanations for beliefs should a child question them.  It shouldn’t involve shaming a child for asking.  No question is dumb or inappropriate about anything in life if the question is sincere.

Part 3

16 to 18 years

If you’ve made it this far without too much incidence, then as a parent, you are most blessed.  It’s been a difficult and sometimes exhaustive labor of love, but one of many blessings as your child matures into adulthood.

Soon, your child will be an adult and must find their way in the world.  It may be exciting and a little scary too, for them as well as you. 

It’s time to loosen the reigns a little with freedoms they never had before.  They may decide to get a part-time job or show interest in volunteer work.  Continuing to support their interests will encourage open communication and a healthy relationship.

By now, whatever spiritual path you follow, will have left a large imprint on their being.  The most notable is teaching them to look up to and have respect for the Lord.  If it is encouraged at a young age, they will be drawn to spiritual pursuits that will increase their joy tremendously.

They may show an interest in meditation or spiritual studies that the church may offer. 

Keeping them involved in church activities and wholesome fun is good sadhana for this age.  A network of spiritual friends can make all the difference in their decisions and actions.

Seeking a romantic relationship at this age should still be discouraged.  The problem with this is, when a person seeks a relationship, it distracts them from learning about their own Self. 

They have no idea at this age what kind of partner will make them happy through life and there is little good that will come from it.

This also removes the danger of unwanted pregnancy and destructive tendencies that will throw your child into adulthood before they are ready. 

Transparency and open communication should remain between you and your child so that they always feel safe to discuss their life with you.

It may not be what you want to hear, and it may not be the action you would have taken, but that doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of your parenting. 

The soul is very complex, and we are not paper cut-outs of our parents any more than our children are of us.

Adulthood

If you have groomed your child for sadhana in the early years, eighteen through their twenties is a time when great progress can be made in their soul growth.  I would have loved it if one of my parents would have asked, “Did you meditate today?”

Meditation is an effective means of self-purification.  It provides the soul with room to step back from the world and renew oneself with stilling moments and periods of boundless joy. 

There are many forms of meditation, but passage meditation is one of the most effective.  Any form is useful and will bring positive results, for as the Atman sees your efforts, it will reward you accordingly.

In essence, your life is your sadhana and your sadhana is your life.  All your actions are overseen by the Atman with rewards of joy for positive actions and remorse for negative ones.

The ego yells, “Rebel! Rebel!”  You have the option of doing just that but will suffer under the Atman’s mighty sword of correction. 

A person may lose their peace of mind accompanied by sadness and regret.  They may feel like they’ve made a series of bad choices and need to turn around and make better ones.

Right actions lead upward with more chakra openings and a deeper understanding of the spiritual path.  It brings more bliss and a richer and more joyous living experience to all those who embark on this path of Self-discovery.

As the soul grows through the chakras, the Atman’s push in the right direction becomes more profound. 

Just as the Psalm says, “Thou anointest my head with oil: my cup runneth over.  Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

The house of the Lord is your inner sanctuary and once you find it, you’ll have the peace that passes all understanding. 

It’s not somewhere outside of yourself so even if you won a million dollars, it wouldn’t compare to the inner joys the Atman brings.

Final Thoughts

The earlier in life a person follows spiritual disciplines will ensure the most progress in that lifetime. 

A person will reach the top of their sadhana much faster with meditation, japam, and spiritual practices.  By the time a person is in their middle twenties, they can claim all their former “gold” or growth obtained through all their lifetimes.

Without spiritual practices, a person may be in their fifties and beyond.  At that point, they may only have twenty years or so of growth to move beyond the point of their last life.

They may have a sudden epiphany over the age of fifty that meditation is important or no longer cling to their previously held beliefs.  In many cases, this is the result of another chakra opening that could have been claimed much earlier in life.

There may also be many adversities for the person who is born in a poor birth circumstance for we are at the mercy of Brahman and our parents. 

Poor doesn’t mean financially poor but could mean that in one sense.  If love and a baby’s physical needs are not met, their chakras will not open.

Food is essential and when a baby cries for what is essential and receives it, this creates many spiritual moments between the parent and the baby.  Indeed, a mother who nurses her infant or gives her baby a bottle knows this to be true.

If there is no food, the spiritual bonding process between the infant and the parent is taken away. 

In response, the baby cries but the cries are ignored due to the lack of resources.  The infant doesn’t understand this, and it will affect them spiritually as well as physically.

It is a great travesty to witness babies who die of malnutrition.  It’s an even greater travesty to witness the same parents continuing to have babies despite it.

Just as science is learning about cell memory, a person, too, has soul memory.  When my middle son was three, he was already tinkering with tools and lining up his hot wheel cars in rows or cleaning out his drawers. 

This is dharana so even though spiritually, he was in rajas, his soul was remembering a well-ordered expression of his individuality.

The chakras can delay opening due to a child’s birth circumstance, which may cause anguish for the soul followed by destructive behavior in one form or many. 

The soul says, “This chakra should have opened for me by now.”  It is the soul’s response to the spiritual effects of the parent’s inattentiveness, neglect, or abuse.

The Atman’s reward is based on right behavior, regardless of the soul’s birth circumstance.  The child is not responsible for the parents’ actions or lack thereof; the Atman can only respond to its own soul’s behavior.

In this way, a child may very much be at the mercy of the parents.  Some will turn this anger inward and think, “I am not worthy to be loved”, while others may turn it outward against the world.  This is what happens when a child’s spiritual and physical needs are not met.

Another sign of a poor birth circumstance is the child spiritually much higher than the parent. 

For instance, my mother is in pratyahara, and this created many difficulties while growing up from eight years of age and beyond. 

Even a two-chakra difference can make one’s childhood somewhat oppressive.  The parent and child always feel out of sync with one another, which was my personal experience.

My father is in dharana, and I could see stability in his thinking that my mother lacked.  He is much further along spiritually though he dealt with anger issues.  He was the most stable voice I knew in my youth.

My mother’s love, unfortunately, was fickle and would swing according to her mood that day.  It felt quite shallow for me, but this was my birth circumstance.  I do not fault her now for she is in pratyahara and the love and stability she gave was all she had.

We cannot expect our parents to be more than who they are, any more than our children.  It is only through the forward progress of the soul that Love deepens.

You may have found yourself in a similar scenario where it seems unlikely you and your parents will ever be close. 

Your poor birth circumstance will make you a better person.  Don’t judge yourself too harshly or that you were punished for some previous karma. 

It may be that through your adversity, your soul expands so much so, that later, your voice becomes a light in someone else’s darkness.